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Posts Categorised: Mindfulness

As we were growing up, we would often joke that some people would spend too much time looking in the mirror. How times have changed. These days we are just as likely to see ourselves in a selfie on Instagram than a mirror.

We see ourselves constantly, but do we really see ourselves properly?

What would you see in the mirror?

Have you thought about what you would see if you took time for self-reflection? What would you find? And if you have managed to spend time self-reflecting, could you fix anything you weren’t entirely happy with? Would you just see the symptoms, or the root cause? And would the fixes you make, have the lasting effect that you intended them to?

Even when we can see what is happening and make changes, do we monitor ourselves to prevent us from going “off the rails”, or deviate from your chosen path?”

Finding the root cause

It seems simple, but we are often so caught up in our lives ( and those of others ) that many of us find it harder to see who we are, or have become, take action, and then keep an eye on ourselves. If we realised that we were suffering from depression, anxiety, stress or were generally unhappy, are we able to see why we are feeling that way?

A simple way to get to where you want to be

If you feel you would benefit from guidance to find out who you really are, and then be empowered to change and keep it that way Aspire Counselling would like to help guide you.

At Aspire Counselling we believe in enabling you to live an empowered and fulfilled life, and importantly to keep it that way.

Aspire Counselling – book an online or face-to-face counselling, psychotherapy session and get instant confirmation of your appointment at https://aspirecounselling.net

Contact Aspire Counselling at info@aspirecounselling.net or call 6570 2781 to find out more about our services for men, women, adolescents, couples counselling, relationship counselling, families and corporates.

This article from Caitlin Ainsworth writing on The Mighty, describes what many of our clients can feel. They struggle to get out of bed and from the outside they are percieved to be lazy and unfocused. At times they may also see themselves this way. In the article referenced below, Caitlin describes how life feels to her. You may even recognise yourself in what Caitlin describes.

“Have you ever felt like everyone around you was living a full life? Not to say they are — or you are not — but I’ve found sometimes through my own pain it can seem like everyone else has nothing to fight off. I wake up every day with immense dread that I’m no longer asleep, or worse, that I’m not finally dead. I finally find the courage to get out of bed five hours after my alarm goes off to go to the bathroom and maybe find some food, but after that I’m back into my nest of blankets and pillows that once in a while seems to guard me from the monsters in my head — the monsters that surround me.”

Read more at https://buff.ly/2gzxBBx

Do I have to continue like this?

Too often these struggles lead the individual to feel guilty and that they aren’t normal. However, you should know that it is not an unusual feeling. Also, it is not something you need to feel guilty about. In fact, when feeling this way you need to make sure you are kind and compassionate towards yourself. We know that you are trying and doing your best.

We can empower you to live a fulfilled life and achieve your goals

Aspire Counselling is here to help in these circumstances. Our passion is to help empower people to lead fulfilling lives. We would like to help guide you towards ways that you can help yourself, whether you are suffering from depression, anxiety, bi-polar or any other condition. We can show you techniques that you can use to help you achieve your goals, whatever they are.

Contact Aspire Counselling

Contact us at http://aspirecounselling.net to find out more about our services and book an appointment.  You can also call us on  6570 2781 or email on info@aspirecounselling.net

The Thinkstock image accompanied the article when it was published on The Mighty on 22nd November 2016

SOBERNATION – August 19, 2016 by Chris Boutte

From the moment I became sober back in 2012, I’ve been on a constant journey to improve who I am as a person. This is something I learned from going to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. Meetings, a sponsor, and the steps taught me that drugs and alcohol were but a symptom of my disease. I had a major problem with living life.

My journey throughout the last four years has been incredible, and I am a much different person. Like a good addict, I always think I need more. Today I am grateful that I can focus that on self-discovery and self-improvement rather than self-destruction. This path led me to research something called mindfulness.

My name is Chris Boutte. I am currently the Lead Alumni Coordinator for American Untitled design (11)Addiction Centers, and I’m based out of Desert Hope in Las Vegas, Nevada. I am not a doctor or therapist. Heck, I only went to college for a semester. I’m a bit of a recovery

However, I am a bit of a recovery nerd, so I spend a lot of time researching the disease of addiction and learning how to strengthen my own recovery. For a few months, I kept seeing articles about something called mindfulness and how it could be used to improve work, relationships and life in general. Out of curiosity, I wondered if it could help people recover from addiction. I happened to find a book called The Mindful Path to Addiction Recovery, and it intrigued me.

Since reading the book and learning how it can benefit people struggling with addiction, I decided to enroll in a six-week mindfulness course. I loved it so much that I then enrolled in the next course, which is about teaching mindfulness to others. Since practicing mindfulness, I feel my recovery has improved greatly, and I also realized that AA and NA had already taught me some mindfulness.

What is Mindfulness?

One of the best descriptions of mindfulness comes from Jon Kabat Zinn who founded the Stress Reduction Clinic as well as the Center for Mindfulness. He says, “Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” Mindfulness practice is all about increasing one’s ability to have very short instances of moment-to-moment awareness for longer periods of time. Some of you may be wondering what this has to do with anything, and others may already be thinking about how this helps with addiction recovery.

Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.” -Alcoholics Anonymous Page 22

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was written in the 1930s, but now we have many more answers due to technological advances and research into addiction. Addicts and alcoholics have an issue with the prefrontal cortex of the brain. This part of the brain has a slew of responsibilities, and one of them is impulse control. I truly believe that I had addictive traits long before drugs and alcohol came into the mix, and impulse control was always an issue. Us addicts instantly react on our impulses, which is why there’s often no thought before the first drink or drug. By increasing our moment-to-moment awareness, we’re able to pump the brakes before we pick up that first drink or drug.

AA and NA Taught Me Mindfulness Without Me Knowing It

Like most addicts in early recovery, I was a hot mess. I was restless, irritable and discontent. I didn’t know who I was without drugs or alcohol, and I didn’t know how to act. I had a sponsor who constantly reminded me not to trust my thinking because it’s what put me in my awful situation. That made sense, so I started taking suggestions from others. The cliché sayings the men and women of the fellowship were telling me was my first glimpse of mindfulness, and I didn’t even realize it then.

“Take it one day at a time.”

Although mindfulness is about moment-to-moment awareness, this was a stepping stone. They told me to just stay sober one day at a time. I had an issue living in the past or worrying about the future. I’d often ask myself, “How am I supposed to stay sober forever?!” They taught me that I only had to stay sober for today. When I was craving, I only had to stay sober for that hour, that minute or that second.

The Three Questions

I had a lot of anger issues when I got sober. I blamed the world for my problems, and I also had an unexplainable ego. I truly thought that my way was the right way, which caused me to get into a lot of arguments and put myself in bad situations. Someone in a meeting taught me to pause and ask myself these questions:

“Does it need to be said?”
“Does it need to be said right now?”
“Does it need to be said by me?”
This took quite a bit of practice, but it taught me to pause. It taught me to be mindful of what I was about to do. While I still sometimes said things that I immediately regretted, it started to happen less and less.

How am I feeling?

Working on my fourth step taught me to be mindful of the way I was feeling. I used to get resentful, sad or anxious, and I couldn’t figure out why. Even if I knew why, I would judge myself for feeling the way I felt, or I’d judge the other person for making me feel that way. The fourth step really helped me get clarity as to why I was feeling these emotions, and it gave me the opportunity to work on my issues. Mindfulness and acceptance go hand-in-hand.

In the online mindfulness course I was enrolled in, I noticed many people were having trouble with the practices. Assuming that I was the only recovering addict in the class, I started to see that the fellowships of AA and NA had already given me a jumpstart on mindfulness practice.

How Mindfulness is Improving My Recovery

I am by no means a mindfulness expert, but I’ve been practicing mindfulness for a few months, and I can see how it’s been strengthening my recovery in a variety of different aspects. They sometimes say in meetings that after you get some time, it’s not about not picking up, it’s about dealing with life on life’s terms. Meetings, a sponsor, and step work are still a valuable part of my recovery, but mindfulness has been added into the mix, and it’s continued to improve my day-to-day life.

Stress and anxiety are feelings that aren’t limited to addicts alone. They’re part of human nature. There are days where I can feel overwhelmed from the time I wake up in the morning. Juggling work, a seven-year-old, friends, family, and recovery can sometimes cause my mind to race. Also like most people, I begin to worry about the future. “How am I going to pay this bill?” or “How am I going to complete this next task?” are regular thoughts many of us have. Mindfulness helps me recognize these feelings and bring myself back in the moment.

The best part about using mindfulness as a form of stress reduction is that I can literally do it anywhere. I’ve found that I begin having stress or anxiety the most in the morning on my drive to work, and it may not even be for reasons related to work. To come back to the present moment, I place my hand in front of my A/C vent in my car and feel the cool air coming through. I recognize the way the steering wheel feels in my hand. I start to notice the colors of vehicles around me and the weather. I may even mindfully listen to the song playing through my speakers as a way to be brought back to the moment, and I feel much better after only doing this for a minute or two.

My listening skills during conversations have become much better because I’m able to stay in the moment much better. I can listen to clients, coworkers, friends and my son with more focus. I’ve seen how this has helped me with simply providing somebody with my undivided attention rather than fiddling with my phone, thinking about other tasks or judging what the other person is saying.

The Ultimate Perks

For me, the primary benefit of mindfulness is acknowledging happiness and joy. Due to human evolution, our brains are designed to focus on the negative as a form of survival. Mindfulness has taught me bring attention to my happiness and serenity. In early recovery, I remember being more mindful of just feeling well physically and mentally because I was free from active addiction, but eventually I stopped noticing it. Today, I can bring attention to my positive feelings more than ever, and it’s truly a great experience.

The byproducts of mindfulness are endless, and I hope this article helped shed some light as to how it can help you in your daily life no matter who you are or how much clean time you have. I highly recommend that if you’re like me and wish to add to your recovery tool kit, research some mindfulness practices and continue to strengthen your recovery.

SOBERNATION – August 19, 2016 by Chris Boutte

#sober #self-improvement #self-discovery #self-destruction

This article by Madelyn Heslet, appeared in TheMighty

When I’m depressed or anxious, it can be hard for me to remember what makes me happy or what calms me down. Every coping skill I’ve learned in therapy seems to fly out of my head and disappear elsewhere. I used to let the depression or anxiety take over and control my mind, and would be miserable as a result.

During my last hospitalization, I learned about a meditation technique called mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of bringing your attention to what is going on internally and externally in the moment you are in. Mindfulness doesn’t exactly rid your mind of negative or anxious thoughts, but trains you to accept them and let them flow freely without feeling bad about having them.

It’s hard to accept negative thoughts at first; you just want them to leave you and not return. But acceptance is an important step in recovery, and accepting your thoughts for what they are is important when battling anxiety or depression.

On my bad days, I try to be mindful in everything I do, not just sit and think mindfully. When I wake up, I am aware of how I feel. I’m aware of the warmth still in my body as I stretch, and am aware of the immediately negative thoughts I have about the day that hasn’t even begun yet. I let those thoughts be, and move onto being mindful about my surroundings. As I travel from my room, to the bathroom and into the kitchen, I am mindful of how the carpet feels between my toes and of the bird’s songs outside the windows. Already my negative thoughts are moving through my mind, making room for positive thoughts.

As I sit down for breakfast, I eat mindfully. I eat slowly, savoring each bite and each texture of the food. I enjoy what I’m eating, even though on my bad days I don’t want to eat. Mindfulness helps me to not only satisfy the hunger I can’t feel on a bad day, it helps me to truly find pleasure in something so simple as eating an apple. And finding pleasure on a bad day is so very, very important.

As I walk down the street with my daughter in the stroller, I am mindful of my surroundings. I notice the birds flying, the trees swaying and the bees moving from flower to flower. I notice my daughter look around, imagining she is being mindful as well. Children look at the world with such innocence and wonder, much like mindfulness has us do. I accept the worries swimming in my head for when we return home; chores, lunch to prepare, phone calls to make. I accept them and move on, back to observing the beauty around me.

When it’s raining, it’s hard for me to remain mindful. The weather matches my mood and I would like to just stay in bed. But I am mindful about the rain. I notice the size and the speed of the drops,
and remind myself that water, even in the form of rain, is good. It is good for the plants, for the crops and for me. It washes away yesterday and prepares me for another new day. I used to let the rain, the bad days, control me. But when I learned to look at the rain mindfully, my mood toward it changed, just like my mind has changed when it comes to negative thoughts.

Remaining mindful helps me cope with my anxiety and depression. It keeps me in the present moment, and manages my worries about the past and the future. Mindfulness doesn’t make my worries disappear, but rather equips me with the peace and strength to deal with them. I was just practicing mindfulness on my bad days, but now I try to remain mindful on my good days, too. Since trying to remain mindful all of the time, I see my situation and the world around me in a more positive light. I find I enjoy the little things more often when I’m mindful; my daughter’s laugh, the neighbour ’s dog, my mom ’s cooking.

Without mindfulness, I would still be in darkness on my bad days. I would let my negative thoughts completely take over, leaving no room for an inkling of positivity. Without mindfulness, I may not see myself or the world around me in a realistic, positive way. I am glad I learned the technique during one of my most difficult times, so I could learn to use it in the most trying, and the most wonderful times. Mindfulness is not only just a form of meditation. I believe it is a way of life, and a natural medicine to help treat anxiety and depression.

Learning mindfulness

Aspire Counselling offers Mindfulness as one of its services.  We can help you learn the technique and how to apply it in your life, such that you can support yourself.  This can be extremely useful to support you in managing stress, anxiety and depression amounst other things.  It is equally applicable to men, women, couples, and for use in a corporate setting to manage employee and work related stress.

You can visit our website to book an online counselling or face to face couples, relationship counselling session with us. http://aspirecounselling.net

Contact Aspire Counselling at info@aspirecounselling.net or call 6570 2781 to find out more about our services for men, women, adolescents, couples, families and corporates.