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Posts Tagged: anxiety

Giving birth is a miraculous thing. Expectations are high, and everyone is excited. Its a time of great change in the lives of everyone involved.

With the transition of welcoming a new baby into the world, there is often stress coupled with symptoms of anxiety and/or depression. Sometimes these feelings occur postpartum and sometimes they appear before the birth.

A time of great change

Experiencing perinatal mood-swings and elevated emotional levels is not at all unusual, and not something anyone should feel guilty about. After all, just imagine what is happening within your body, there are great physical changes taking place and hormone levels are changing rapidly. There is absolutely no correlation between how you are feeling at this time of great change and wether you are a good mother or not.

You likely know that at this time you should take good care of your physical health, but do you take the same care of your mental health. It is equally important to both you and your baby, as well as those around you. Good Nutrition, Exercise and sleep are vital to both physical  and mental well-being.

Your mood and feelings

If you are affected by any of the following, you would likely benefit from talking about how you are feeling.

* Overwhelmed or feeling you can’t cope
* Struggling to adapt to the changes in your life
* Anxiety
* Depression
* Guilt
* Paranoia
* Mood swings
* Delusions
* Thoughts of harming yourself or others

Talk about how you are feeling

If you are pregnant, or have recently given birth and you affected by any of the above, you might want to talk to a professional counsellor about it. With the right help, the symptoms that you are experiencing will be temporary and treatable.

Where can you find help?

Aspire Counselling can help , we understand that talking about how you feel, or about your fears isn’t always the easiest thing in the world. We do however know from experience, that talking helps.

Maria Luedeke of Aspire Counselling is a highly qualified counsellor and mother who has lived and worked in America, Europe and Asia. Maria has extensive experience providing counselling to both locals and expats in Singapore and overseas. These days Maria conducts much of her work online and as such has become highly experienced in using online video counselling.

Contact Aspire Counselling today and book an appointment with Maria either through our website http://aspirecounselling.net or by emailing marialuedeke@aspirecounselling.net

Life was never intended to be an incomplete difficult jigsaw.

Although it sometimes feels just like that. A little extra help can be useful when you are needing to find direction in your life or to put the pieces of a puzzle together.

By talking about what you are experiencing to an experienced Psychotherapist you can often find the clarity you need and find your own way forward. At Aspire Counselling we focus on helping you realise your goals and living an empowered, fulfilled life.

Book an appointment online today at https://aspirecounselling.net or call 656570 2781, email  marialuedeke@aspirecounselling.net

Featured in Expat Living – January 2017

Aspire Counselling is featured in Expat Living Singapore, published 11th January 2017, read Maria’s thoughts on Cultural identify crisis and marital issues affecting expats

Read the full article at http://www.expatliving.sg/counselling-singapore-issues-exp…/

The following is an excerpt from the article:

Cultural identity crisis

Moving into an unknown culture can be a confusing, stressful and frustrating experience for both adults and children as they are suddenly made to adapt to a new way of life or set of values. Being far away from home and without family support can also create stresses of their own. Culture shock can cause symptoms like extreme homesickness, an abnormal change in appetite and depression.

Treatment options:

You can attend individual, couple or family therapy where counsellors can help you develop coping strategies for cultural adjustment issues. They can also assist you with any other underlying or coexisting issues such as marital strain or mood disorders.

Marital issues

Issues in a marriage can develop or become more pronounced during cultural adjustment periods. Both partners are experiencing high levels of stress as they get accustomed to the new environment, roles, cultural expectations and jobs. Excessive travel, loss of former careers and long work hours can add to daily frustrations of beginning a new life, creating temptation, loneliness, resentment and sparking arguments between spouses.

Treatment options:

You can go for individual or couple counselling sessions where counsellors can provide a framework for you to work through difficulties.

Aspire Counselling

1 Tanglin Road, Orchard Parade Hotel, #03-03
6570 2781 | aspirecounselling.net

Find out more about how Aspire Counselling can help under these circumstances at http://aspirecounselling.net or by calling 6570 2781

As we were growing up, we would often joke that some people would spend too much time looking in the mirror. How times have changed. These days we are just as likely to see ourselves in a selfie on Instagram than a mirror.

We see ourselves constantly, but do we really see ourselves properly?

What would you see in the mirror?

Have you thought about what you would see if you took time for self-reflection? What would you find? And if you have managed to spend time self-reflecting, could you fix anything you weren’t entirely happy with? Would you just see the symptoms, or the root cause? And would the fixes you make, have the lasting effect that you intended them to?

Even when we can see what is happening and make changes, do we monitor ourselves to prevent us from going “off the rails”, or deviate from your chosen path?”

Finding the root cause

It seems simple, but we are often so caught up in our lives ( and those of others ) that many of us find it harder to see who we are, or have become, take action, and then keep an eye on ourselves. If we realised that we were suffering from depression, anxiety, stress or were generally unhappy, are we able to see why we are feeling that way?

A simple way to get to where you want to be

If you feel you would benefit from guidance to find out who you really are, and then be empowered to change and keep it that way Aspire Counselling would like to help guide you.

At Aspire Counselling we believe in enabling you to live an empowered and fulfilled life, and importantly to keep it that way.

Aspire Counselling – book an online or face-to-face counselling, psychotherapy session and get instant confirmation of your appointment at https://aspirecounselling.net

Contact Aspire Counselling at info@aspirecounselling.net or call 6570 2781 to find out more about our services for men, women, adolescents, couples counselling, relationship counselling, families and corporates.

This article from Caitlin Ainsworth writing on The Mighty, describes what many of our clients can feel. They struggle to get out of bed and from the outside they are percieved to be lazy and unfocused. At times they may also see themselves this way. In the article referenced below, Caitlin describes how life feels to her. You may even recognise yourself in what Caitlin describes.

“Have you ever felt like everyone around you was living a full life? Not to say they are — or you are not — but I’ve found sometimes through my own pain it can seem like everyone else has nothing to fight off. I wake up every day with immense dread that I’m no longer asleep, or worse, that I’m not finally dead. I finally find the courage to get out of bed five hours after my alarm goes off to go to the bathroom and maybe find some food, but after that I’m back into my nest of blankets and pillows that once in a while seems to guard me from the monsters in my head — the monsters that surround me.”

Read more at https://buff.ly/2gzxBBx

Do I have to continue like this?

Too often these struggles lead the individual to feel guilty and that they aren’t normal. However, you should know that it is not an unusual feeling. Also, it is not something you need to feel guilty about. In fact, when feeling this way you need to make sure you are kind and compassionate towards yourself. We know that you are trying and doing your best.

We can empower you to live a fulfilled life and achieve your goals

Aspire Counselling is here to help in these circumstances. Our passion is to help empower people to lead fulfilling lives. We would like to help guide you towards ways that you can help yourself, whether you are suffering from depression, anxiety, bi-polar or any other condition. We can show you techniques that you can use to help you achieve your goals, whatever they are.

Contact Aspire Counselling

Contact us at http://aspirecounselling.net to find out more about our services and book an appointment.  You can also call us on  6570 2781 or email on info@aspirecounselling.net

The Thinkstock image accompanied the article when it was published on The Mighty on 22nd November 2016

“I really struggled to get out of bed today. Did you?

I didn’t get up until noon. It was the same yesterday. Then I was hard on myself for it and as a result, I had a miserable day.  Today, the same happened, but I decided to be kind to myself. The difference? I gave myself a break and refused to feel guilty or bad about it. Today I’m happier, smiling even, working and I believe that tomorrow will be easier. And if it’s not I’ll try again. I need to be kind to myself.”

These are the words of a sufferer of Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and ADHD.  Many will be able to relate to them. No one says you should feel bad if you can’t live a perfect, happy life every single day. Let’s be realistic we all have our off-days. Be kind to yourself instead of getting more upset with yourself when you aren’t feeling at your best. Self-compassion is a useful way to help you get through your day.

Do seek help if you or someone you know needs help to learn coping techniques and strategies for days when not feeling at your best. If you can’t get out or bed, like the writer, it might be a sign that something isn’t quite right, or you are avoiding something. Aspire Counselling has a range of techniques that it can teach you to help you with your life. We do these in ways that will allow it to become habitual for you, so you won’t be dependent upon us. You will learn to manage your own life successfully.  You’ll find these techniques useful in everyday life too.

For details on our Counselling and Psychotherapy services, email Aspire Counselling at info@aspirecounselling.net, call us on  6570 2781 or visit our website where you can book online face-to-face or video counselling sessions.  https://www.aspirecounselling.net

This article by Madelyn Heslet, appeared in TheMighty

When I’m depressed or anxious, it can be hard for me to remember what makes me happy or what calms me down. Every coping skill I’ve learned in therapy seems to fly out of my head and disappear elsewhere. I used to let the depression or anxiety take over and control my mind, and would be miserable as a result.

During my last hospitalization, I learned about a meditation technique called mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of bringing your attention to what is going on internally and externally in the moment you are in. Mindfulness doesn’t exactly rid your mind of negative or anxious thoughts, but trains you to accept them and let them flow freely without feeling bad about having them.

It’s hard to accept negative thoughts at first; you just want them to leave you and not return. But acceptance is an important step in recovery, and accepting your thoughts for what they are is important when battling anxiety or depression.

On my bad days, I try to be mindful in everything I do, not just sit and think mindfully. When I wake up, I am aware of how I feel. I’m aware of the warmth still in my body as I stretch, and am aware of the immediately negative thoughts I have about the day that hasn’t even begun yet. I let those thoughts be, and move onto being mindful about my surroundings. As I travel from my room, to the bathroom and into the kitchen, I am mindful of how the carpet feels between my toes and of the bird’s songs outside the windows. Already my negative thoughts are moving through my mind, making room for positive thoughts.

As I sit down for breakfast, I eat mindfully. I eat slowly, savoring each bite and each texture of the food. I enjoy what I’m eating, even though on my bad days I don’t want to eat. Mindfulness helps me to not only satisfy the hunger I can’t feel on a bad day, it helps me to truly find pleasure in something so simple as eating an apple. And finding pleasure on a bad day is so very, very important.

As I walk down the street with my daughter in the stroller, I am mindful of my surroundings. I notice the birds flying, the trees swaying and the bees moving from flower to flower. I notice my daughter look around, imagining she is being mindful as well. Children look at the world with such innocence and wonder, much like mindfulness has us do. I accept the worries swimming in my head for when we return home; chores, lunch to prepare, phone calls to make. I accept them and move on, back to observing the beauty around me.

When it’s raining, it’s hard for me to remain mindful. The weather matches my mood and I would like to just stay in bed. But I am mindful about the rain. I notice the size and the speed of the drops,
and remind myself that water, even in the form of rain, is good. It is good for the plants, for the crops and for me. It washes away yesterday and prepares me for another new day. I used to let the rain, the bad days, control me. But when I learned to look at the rain mindfully, my mood toward it changed, just like my mind has changed when it comes to negative thoughts.

Remaining mindful helps me cope with my anxiety and depression. It keeps me in the present moment, and manages my worries about the past and the future. Mindfulness doesn’t make my worries disappear, but rather equips me with the peace and strength to deal with them. I was just practicing mindfulness on my bad days, but now I try to remain mindful on my good days, too. Since trying to remain mindful all of the time, I see my situation and the world around me in a more positive light. I find I enjoy the little things more often when I’m mindful; my daughter’s laugh, the neighbour ’s dog, my mom ’s cooking.

Without mindfulness, I would still be in darkness on my bad days. I would let my negative thoughts completely take over, leaving no room for an inkling of positivity. Without mindfulness, I may not see myself or the world around me in a realistic, positive way. I am glad I learned the technique during one of my most difficult times, so I could learn to use it in the most trying, and the most wonderful times. Mindfulness is not only just a form of meditation. I believe it is a way of life, and a natural medicine to help treat anxiety and depression.

Learning mindfulness

Aspire Counselling offers Mindfulness as one of its services.  We can help you learn the technique and how to apply it in your life, such that you can support yourself.  This can be extremely useful to support you in managing stress, anxiety and depression amounst other things.  It is equally applicable to men, women, couples, and for use in a corporate setting to manage employee and work related stress.

You can visit our website to book an online counselling or face to face couples, relationship counselling session with us. http://aspirecounselling.net

Contact Aspire Counselling at info@aspirecounselling.net or call 6570 2781 to find out more about our services for men, women, adolescents, couples, families and corporates.

Mental health had never been talked about with me and I had no idea what was happening to me

I used to wake up every morning and wonder if there was any point in getting out of bed and starting the day I had ahead of me. I avoided social situations and had self-image issues. I was scared of everything and didn’t want to live life anymore. I had these feelings for a long time, years in fact but it wasn’t until May 4, 2009 that I realised how wrong something was. Unfortunately, this was the same day I wanted it all to end. If it hadn’t been for my dad, I wouldn’t be writing this right now.

After this, I knew I needed help, but how? Where? Who could help me and more importantly who would want to? Mental health had never been talked about with me and I had no idea what was happening to me. I was only 16 and I was confused. It felt as though there was a big wall between me and any possibility of a future or any hope. It wasn’t until I started seeing someone at the local Child and Youth Mental Health Service (CYMHS) that I even knew what was wrong with me. It was then that I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

Getting the diagnosis was hard. Really hard. I mean there is so much stigma surrounding mental health and I didn’t have a lot of friends as it was let alone with the label of “mental nutcase”. I was really worried about how it would affect my life and, in particular, my relationship with my boyfriend at the time. In a lot of ways I was right to be worried. The few friends I had left, people at school ignored me, my boyfriend told me I was too stressful for him and left, and even my family didn’t quite know how to deal with it.

Adding to this stress, the first few treatments I received did very little to help. I went to a psychologist with whom I just talked and in all honesty, I left feeling worse than I did when I arrived. I finally found something that worked. I had weekly sessions with the CYMHS working through my problems as part of an acceptance and commitment therapy program based around creative expression and guess what, it worked.

Now, I still have my days, anyone who knows me can tell you that and yeah, it is hard and I struggle every day but I know how to cope with my problems now. I surround myself with friends who love me and support me and I make sure I avoid my triggers. But the most important thing is that there is always hope. There is always someone out there who knows what you are going through and there is always someone who can and wants to help you. What I never realised but I want you to realise is that you are worth it. You are not a waste of oxygen. You are worth it.